I just completed reading Robin Sharma’s book entitled “Who Will Cry When You Die?”  It is a great book with excellent advise that is in bite size pieces, hence easily digestible.  I rarely read, let alone recommend to others to read self-help literature, however this is one self-help book that  I do recommend everyone to read, for the enjoyment of it if nothing else, because it is really well written.

Moving away from the contents, the title got me thinking…crying is a one time event, however missing is a process that is more profound and better reflects the enormity of loss…so I re-phrased the title and asked myself, “who will miss you when you die?”  You know, like an amputee, who is forever missing the lost limb, because a part of themselves no longer exists.

And so I wondered for me and other single girls especially, who would miss us when we die?  We have no spouse or child, we are totally self-absorbed and do not participate in the community,we take and take–at work we want to climb the corporate ladder and will step on anyone; with our six inch heels; on our way. We go to church (if indeed we do) perfunctorily simply to fulfill an obligation but do not volunteer for anything.Our friends are seen on rare occasions, our interest in seeing them dependent only on how much we can get from them.  Everyone is a tool or a chess piece to be manouvered to suit our needs so as to help obtain whatever elusive goal we are chasing. Our interest and ability to build up a sense of community is eroded over time the longer we are single.

Who will miss you when you die?  In whose life are you such a vital element of being that, your absence will be acutely felt as soon as you are gone? Perhaps that is the essence of a legacy. not building up money or fame but building a presence that would be missed when it no longer exists or better yet insinuating yourself into others’ lives — ofcourse in a positive way– such that they cannot imagine you no longer being there. When you inevitably will not be there you will be missed even if only by a single person….